Sunday 29 July 2007

29/07/07: Every day is the same...



I don't know what I'm trying to say here, I just wanted to draw a cartoon about computers and sweets. If you are into computers and sweets then you know all about unrequited love don't you, you fat bastard!
Incidentally, these are actual photos of the CAMOUKA mainframe, having examined them closely, I'm going to have to sack Janet because she called me "weird" in her on-screen conversation. The CAMOUKA mainframe is used by NATO for it's missle defence system and by the Eurovision Song Contest to add up the votes. Oh, and I use it to play 'Tempest'.
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Saturday 28 July 2007

28/07/07: Fight Global Warming!



This campaign is totally idiotic for reasons that are obvious! If you can fight global warming by always carrying ONE tree with you, why not TWO, or THREE, or HUNDREDS?
Best thing to do is hire an enormous lorry and ship round several thousand at a time. Carbon off-setting is a much better idea, pay a poor person to carry round a tree for you and so save yourself the hassle of having to do anything about it yourself...


This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Friday 27 July 2007

27/07/07: Rufus Raffleston Esq.



Rufus Raffleston is a total cad, using Roofies to get his way with the ladies. He's a bounder!
Stolen Art warning!

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Thursday 26 July 2007

26/07/07: The Furious Balloon Brothers



What I've gathered from this picture is that sometimes the only way you can get things done is by working as a team. I imagine the fella at the front is saying "Come On!" in a high-pitched squeak because he's full of helium. Hard to take someone seriously when they're angry if they have a high-pitched squeaky voice. The irony is heavy in this one.


This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Wednesday 25 July 2007

25/07/07: Spring



Surely rain is the one thing us Brits are good at coping with. Turns out not to be the case. It's not all disaster though - this company are exploiting the situation by bottling the flood-water at a handsome profit. I hear it's almost as good as Dasani.

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Tuesday 24 July 2007

24/07/07: Torrington Pinball Club



Send me an email if you want to join! Members must clock Firepower or make 1,000,000 on Black Knight, or offer me sexual favours, or drugs, or alcohol. Extra points for combos.
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Monday 23 July 2007

23/07/07: Science



This is all about the words - download the damn PDF to read them.
Oh, or you could go to this website to see the full text:
www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/science.html

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Sunday 22 July 2007

22/07/07: Badgerwatch



Yes, this is a blatant and passé steal of the Usual Suspects. Whatever! The Badgerwatch are an elite noctural fighting force (operating only in the summer months).

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Saturday 21 July 2007

21/07/07: I Love Chemicals



It's true, I DO love chemicals. They are our friends.

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Friday 20 July 2007

20/07/07: Same Player Shoots Again



If you play in an arcade, then the Holy Grail of pinball is the Special, however as a home owner it's the extra ball. It's sexy!
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Thursday 19 July 2007

19/07/07: Pollen Boy



I AM POLLEN BOY, HEAR ME SNEEZE!
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Wednesday 18 July 2007

18/07/07: Life Filter



This comes with a personal recommendation from me.
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Tuesday 17 July 2007

17/07/07: Free the MP3



This is not meant to suggest that MP3s should be given away, but that they should be sold WITHOUT Digital Rights Management software attached...you know, so that you can truly describe it as "my music" to other people rather than "music that I have temporarily licensed from Apple".

I did this THEN found out that Apple have actually dropped Digital Rights Management on iTunes. Yea! The MP3 is free finally! Hurrah to Liberty and Justice and all that!

Oh, wait a moment, turns out you have to pay more for that service. That's even sillier than before...before they were saying that they were doing it to protect the artist from villians like, you know, us! Now they're saying that it's ok to rip off the artist provided you pay THEM a little bit extra on the side. I don't think that home taping of music that you own should be illegal, it's a right we've enjoyed up until now. However, if you are now allowed to pay a little bit more for specials, I'd like to know how much extra I need to pay on a Britney Spears track to be allowed to shag her. And not the bald, crazy as a coot new Britney, the old skool schoolgirl Britney.

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Monday 16 July 2007

16/07/07: Beneath Planet KillSpock



Re: 13-07-07. Turns out I didn't quite nail the brief after all. The record is actually called "Beneath Planet KillSpock", the band name is not supposed to feature in the artwork, and it's supposed to feature monkeys smoking and dancing, as if they were in an underground disco. Sylvian Sylvian Le Bon is an idiot. KillSpock Warriors suck DONKEYS!
Here is the revised artwork...
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Sunday 15 July 2007

15/07/07: CACA



I'm all for caravan owners being against Class-A drugs, particularly when driving to and from their camping destination. I do think though that they've made a bit of a slip-up with the logo. At first glance it looks like a caravan, but when studied more closely, it reveals itself to be the symbol for the chemical structure of GBL, which as you know undergoes conversion in vivo into GBH (Liquid ecstasy, Blue Nitro, Midnight Blue etc.). It's effects are similar to Rohypnol, the notorious date-rape drug! This surely can't be what they meant to convey, it looks like an invite to a drug-fuelled weekend in a caravan. Subversive!

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Saturday 14 July 2007

14/07/07: Push the Button



This fella's finger bears an unfortunate resembalance to Dick Cheney. I say unfortunate, but it's not really 'cos he's always getting paid to press those big red buttons you see at openings, launches of yachts and the like. That's why I've called it "Push the Button", because the fella whose finger this is pushes lots of buttons for a living. It's an affirmative tale really of one man's struggle to overcome disability and make shit-loads of cash in the process. It's nice!

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Friday 13 July 2007

13/07/07: Killspock Warriors



The KillSpock Warriors ROCK! They were formed in 1997 as a New Romantic band by their singer Sylvian Sylvian Le Bon and released their first album "Wecome to Planet KillSpock" shortly afterwards.

Typically, after a string of hits they vanished into a sea of high-class hookers and drug abuse, before re-emerging in 2007 with their masterclass in breakbeat-skiffle "Escape from Planet KillSpock".

I am proud to say that I have been employed by Sylvian Sylvian Le Bon himself to produce the artwork for their 12" remix of the title track from the album...and here it is.

Just to demonstrate that I can work to a brief, these were my instructions in full: "Name of the band...some maps or something, beautiful people running away...some sort of Star Trek reference". As you can see, I stuck to it 100% and didn't even put the track name on it because he didn't mention it!
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Thursday 12 July 2007

12/07/07: Mallow Lands



What I like about Dirty Rabbit is that he is NOT a victim of circumstance, in fact all of the tight situations that he finds himself in are entirely of his own making, and usually drug-related. For instance, the terrible freebasing accident he had in the eighties (which explains why he wears the box on his head). He never should of been hanging out with Richard Pryor in the first place!

Anyway, this book is all about his adventures in the Mallow Lands, where everything is made of marshmallow or candyfloss! It's an amazing place, and should stay that way if only Dirty Rabbit can avoid sparking up his crack-cocaine pipe and toasting the entire place...

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Wednesday 11 July 2007

11/07/07: One Giant Leap



Camouka brand shoes are unfortunately only available in size 9 for men.
BTW have you ever noticed how the Camouka logo also looks like a donkey's head?
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Tuesday 10 July 2007

10/07/07: Grey Fades with Dots 5



Ah, warming, homely grey fades with dots. Lazy boy! Lazy boy! Lazy boy!
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Monday 9 July 2007

09/07/07: Why Not Eat Some Toast?



I know in the sophisticated age that we live in this ad appears somewhat crazy - who on earth actually needs to be told to eat some toast, it's just a natural human function right? But in the 1940's all sorts of advisory councils were set up to educate the British populous about what you could and couldn't eat (I guess people had forgotten due to the war!).

Here are some other examples that I couldn't be arsed to draw:
'Eat Paint - It's Healthy And Nutritious!' (from the Lead Advisory Council of Britain)
''Marmalade is also a Food' (from the Marmalade Advisory Council of Britain)
'A is for Asbestos Pie' (also, strangely from the Marmalade Advisory Council of Britain)
'It's not a Banana Unless it's a Powdered Banana' (from the Powdered Foods Advisory Council of Britain)
and the now classic,
'Don't Eat Pussy, it's what the Communists do!' (from the John Birch Society, UK Branch)

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Sunday 8 July 2007

08/07/07: Quantum Loops



Why choose a breakfast cereal that only snaps or crackles or pops when you can have one that splits the universe with every bite. Guaranteed. Of course, proving it could be tricky as obviously you'll be in one universe with no way of checking the existance of the other.
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Saturday 7 July 2007

07/07/07: Fertility Clinic Toilet Signage



I think this would make excellent signage for a fertility clinic. For a start I've drawn simple representations of the genitals in question (in dark pink), then I've used the lettering (in light pink) to indicate the reproductive process of each - that's the sperm and the fallopean tubes. I know you could of worked that out by yourself, I just wanted to say it all to you!!!

As a bonus, if these were printed onto glass doors that sat alongside each other and opened towards each other, there would, on occasion, be moments when both doors were opened onto each other and the graphics would interlock. Hurrah!

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Friday 6 July 2007

06/07/07: Four Finger



First rule of Four Finger: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FOUR FINGER!
So, let's talk about Four Finger:
As far as playing the game goes I'll just give you a couple of examples of gameplay rather than attempt a complete explanation, this isn't because I'm being difficult, it's just that the game was explained to me in a pub by a very drunk person who was slurring their words quite a lot and I didn't fully understand all the subtle nuances involved.
I do know that a Swivel can be deflected by a Come Hither, and that the Devil has dominion over the Daddy, but only if the Point has not yet been made.
I know that historically, the Rule Breaker represents a Jack, The Rule Maker a Queen, and the Daddy a King - but in Four Finger gameplay it's not that simple - for instance the Rule Maker trumps the Rule Breaker, but strangley the Rule Breaker trumps the Daddy, it's called "The Genetic Disposition", which in itself is strange because this game dates back to Summarian times! One other thing I know is that the Chump is used only as a last resort.

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Thursday 5 July 2007

05/07/07: Dr McKeith Strikes Again!



Holistic Nutritionist's of course examine your poo for signs of health problems.
Frankly, I expect my poo to appear unhealthy - it's had all of the goodness sucked out of it (not litrally obviously) - it's waste?!
This poor fella thought he was queueing to see the Holistic Nutritionist, but inadvertantly got into the "you've been strung up and hung out to dry like a chicken you muppet" queue instead. What an idiot!

This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Wednesday 4 July 2007

04/07/07: Chav Vader



"Chelsie, I am your father"
Any resembalance to Burberry tartan is purely coincidental.
This is made with stolen art!
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Tuesday 3 July 2007

03/07/07: Poo-Six



Poo-Six has a unique ability...he can poo straight sixes. Amazing.
Subsequently, he's a good dog to have around in a craps game. Ha!
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Monday 2 July 2007

02/07/07: Evolution in Music



Here is a picture of Mr and Mrs Rongorongo-Smythe and their son Phil. They are trying to explain to him that further de-forestation of the garden will cause the eventual extinction of the Rongorongo-Smythe family, but he's just after some more batteries for his ipod. What an idiot! It's a generational problem really as Mr and Mrs Rongorongo-Smythe are powered by valves and relays, whereas Phil is completly solid-state.
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com

Sunday 1 July 2007

01/07/07: The Grin



As I'm sure you are aware, Edvard Munch was an extremely quick sketcher, he drew this litrally seconds before his more well known piece "The Scream". I think his model was mucking about! This is what happens when you have Tim over to dinner.
This artwork is available as a free pdf at: www.dailyartblog.com